A Troubled Soul
By Amanda Cartigiano
Being in trouble was what she loved
Even if it meant hurting others or herself
Trouble with her mother, never with her father
Destroying valuables and ruining relationships
But this is the life she chooses to live
Nobody really helps her, they just watch
Nobody realizes her problem, it just isn’t enough
Her friend was no help, she only made it worse
Her life was a witches spell or curse
She fooled everyone she knew
For there was nothing she can do
She was ten, she was alone, and she was trouble
Repetitive actions led her to nowhere but happiness
Why was she doing this, how was she doing this
she didn’t have an answer
Misunderstood and very confused was what she was
Only in the moment of her deviant actions made her happy
Danger in the streets and danger in her home
She is Elena, a girl all alone
Tears filled my eyes reading this.
So much pain your Elena is going through. Yet there is none so blind than those who choose not to see. There is nothing worse than feeling ignored. When the anger washes over her, all she knows is what she feels; there is a sense of power in the destruction, but the satisfaction is short-term. Negative attention seems better than no attention at all. Friends don’t understand. Family members become annoyed or angry. And then everything circles back.
They say good poetry lets us glimpse the author’s soul for a fleeting moment in time. I don’t know if Elena is based on someone you know or if Elena is part of you. Whoever she may be, she is intelligent and empathetic enough to know that what she is doing makes her feel worse, not better.
I hope you see this post. If so, and you would like to talk, post a reply on here and I will give you my email address.